I've been thinking a lot about happiness lately, mostly because social media is basically a warehouse sale of unhappiness. That was my first big epiphany when I joined: wow, there are a LOT of unhappy people out there. And I'm not talking about those folks who simply wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they accidentally got happy. You know the type. We're leaving them alone today.
And no, this isn't a theological lecture on happiness versus joy. Today we're going full practical. Roll up your sleeves, let's go.
Most people want to be happy — they just can't figure out the directions from where they're standing. Too many folks believe happiness is a lucky bounce: good genes, good timing, good parking spot. Nope. Happiness is a choice. And the best way to find it is to follow the breadcrumbs of people who already got there.
1. Count what you HAVE, not what you don't. Unhappy people are unthankful people — that's just math. Grab a legal pad and write down everything good in your life. Misney (misery + Disney, you're welcome) usually sneaks in when you stare so hard at one or two bad things that you go blind to the fifty good ones.
2. Question where your expectations came from. Who sold you that dream? Was it a commercial? Because if your entire life plan came from a billboard, I have bad news. Being miserable because you're not living somebody's fantasy is tragic — and worse, it's boring.
3. Be generous. Study after study agrees: selfish people are miserable people. Science has spoken, and science doesn't repeat itself for fun. Happy people give their time and money to something bigger than themselves.
4. Happiness is not a destination. There's no "Arrived: Happy" sign with your name on it. The happiest people I know are the ones who forgot to monitor their own happiness because they were busy enjoying the ride. It's a road trip, not a delivery.
5. Don't like your life? Change it. Want to play piano? Take lessons. Regret skipping college? Enroll. Want a better spiritual life? Church has doors, and they open. Nobody is holding you back but you — and you're not even that strong.
6. Slow down. You cannot smell the roses at a full sprint. Physics won't allow it. If you're a workaholic like me, literally schedule "do nothing" into your calendar. Get a hobby. Hang out with humans you like. Happy people have mastered the art of occasionally chilling like it's their job.
7. There are no shortcuts. If you were genuinely disappointed you didn't win the billion-dollar Powerball, we need to talk. Education, hard work, saving, giving — always in style. Never once went out of fashion. Not once.
8. Stop feeling entitled. Here's the secret plan: assume nobody's helping you, no inheritance is coming, and no fairy godmother is scheduled. Now go build your life anyway. Anything extra that shows up? Bonus rounds! The universe loves to surprise people who weren't waiting around for it.
9. Think significance, not just success. Leave the world better than you found it — even a little. The people who feel like their lives matter are hands-down the happiest people walking around. You can spot them. They glow differently.
10. Forgive. Forgiving someone who hurt you breaks their lease on your brain. Evicted! Forgiving yourself frees you up for round two — this time smarter. Ask God to forgive you, ask the people you've hurt, make things right where you can, and then move along. The grudge was heavy anyway.
11. Attitude is a choice, not a birth certificate. You can control your feelings, or your feelings can drive the bus. Happy people CHOOSE great attitudes, even on Mondays. Especially on Mondays.
12. Speak life. Use words that lift people up. My mom said it best: "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." People who speak life are like human air fresheners — they walk into a room and everything just smells better.
So here's your week: invest in your own happiness, or make yourself miserable. One of those also makes everyone around you happier. The other one... well, you know.